Bird Camp Diaries: January 2008
The Bird Camp Diaries are nothing more than whimsical monthly musings. I hope you find them entertaining, and sometimes thought provoking.
Greetings From Ice Planet Hoth
Story by Anthony Hauck
PF/QF Public Relations Specialist
Now, winter I can handle - ice skating, skiing, hot chocolate...heck, show me measurable snow, and I'll show you a snow angel. But by January in The Land of 10,000 Lakes, winter has morphed into a brutal fifth season that even the heartiest of Minnesotans find hard to bear.
In January, Old Man Winter has beaten us into an irrational pulp. Breaking the freezing mark is cause for celebration. Running to the mailbox and back constitutes our daily exercise. Winter puts such a spell on us northerners that we actually take time in this unholy month to honor it with an oxymoronic Winter Carnival.
The weather becomes all-consuming, all anyone talks about. Every conversation starts with the weather. Newscasts open and close with the weather, with a little weather thrown in between. I've been immersed so deeply in meteorological terms the past few weeks that I fully anticipate an honorary degree in the subject. Maybe even a PhD once I factor in the wind chill.
One guy had it figured out. It's been nearly 12 years since then-Governor Arne Carlson cancelled school statewide due to the cold. You read that correctly. Arne flat out said it's too cold for learning. That darn Arne knew that if you couldn't beat the cold, just quit and wait for it to get warmer. We need more people like that around this state. I was a freshman in high school at that time, and though I have absolutely no idea where Arne stood on any of the real issues, I'd vote for that guy in a heartbeat (speaking of which, the cold has mine down to a cool three beats per minute).
And so we wait for a new leader to champion Arne's legacy. They needn't do away with the cold, just take us out of it. And soon - the mercury currently sits at six degrees above zero.
There's a battle scene in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back that takes place on a planet called Hoth - an inhospitable place covered in snow and ice that's constantly pelted by meteorites. Has there really ever been a doubt about the inspiration for George Lucas's fictional universe?
Welcome to January. In Minnesota.
Though he's yet to figure out why, Anthony Hauck is a native and lifelong Minnesotan.
Remember, if you have story ideas, dog photos, pre-1980 hunting photos and requests for future On The Wing consideration, please send correspondence to ahauck@quailforever.org.
If you have story ideas, dog photos, pre-1980 hunting photos and requests for future On The Wing consideration, please send correspondence to ahauck@pheasantsforever.org.
Return to On the Wing: January 2008"On The Wing" Archive
- On the Wing: July 2008
- On the Wing: June 2008
- On the Wing: May 2008
- On the Wing: April 2008
- On the Wing: March 2008
- On the Wing: February 2008
- On the Wing: January 2008
- On the Wing: December 2007
- On The Wing: November 2007
- On The Wing: October 2007
- On The Wing: September 2007
- On The Wing: August 2007
- On The Wing: July 2007
- On The Wing: June 2007
- On The Wing: May 2007
