Bird Camp Diaries: July 2008
The Bird Camp Diaries are nothing more than whimsical monthly musings. I hope you find them entertaining, and sometimes thought provoking.
Mustachioed Madness
Story by Anthony Hauck
PF/QF Public Relations Specialist
Quick, name the last American President to sport a mustache.
Technically, if you said William Howard Taft, you'd be correct. But winning on technicalities is, frankly, un-American. Taft is remembered mostly for his girth - he once got stuck in the White House bathtub and had to have an oversized version installed - and being a horrible politician, thus he is disqualified.
If you said Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt, you're correct, so pat yourself on the back. And grow a mustache. Because that's what T.R. did.
Roosevelt did some incredible things. He ensured the construction of the Panama Canal. He once captured an outlaw. Heck, he was even shot in the chest and survived (his mustache is credited for keeping the bullet away from his heart). But by nearly all historically accurate accounts, his crowning achievement was growing perhaps one of the greatest mustaches of all time. Even in death, Roosevelt's likeness on Mount Rushmore holds the distinction of being the largest mustache in the entire universe.
Thanks to Hulk Hogan's recent turmoil and New York Yankees slugger Jason Giambi, the mustache is enjoying a bit of resurgence across the American hairscape. It is important, however, not to forget our facial-haired forefathers. Hogan was a fake wrestler - there was nothing fake about T.R. And let's face it, had T.R. decided to play America's national pastime instead of passing time leading America, he would have ended up the all-time home run king.
This year, T.R. is celebrating his 150th birthday - a sesquicentennial - and so is his mustache. So to honor this great conservationist, hunter, naturalist, explorer, author and soldier, make sure to grow a mustache (if you haven't already). What about females? T.R. wasn't an idiot and he hated stupid questions. Then, throw T.R. a party and eat a big piece of cake. Just make sure to leave a little in the flavor saver for later.
If you have story ideas, dog photos, pre-1980 hunting photos and requests for future On The Wing consideration, please send correspondence to ahauck@pheasantsforever.org.
Return to On the Wing: July 2008"On The Wing" Archive
- On the Wing: November 2008
- On the Wing: October 2008
- On the Wing: September 2008
- On the Wing: August 2008
- On the Wing: July 2008
- On the Wing: June 2008
- On the Wing: May 2008
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- On the Wing: March 2008
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- On The Wing: July 2007
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